it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Randomize
