Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
Randomize
