Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
So the doctor told me that I am starting to showing the early signs of liver cirrhosis. Thank you Jack Daniels for making the first 26 years of my life awesome.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
