i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
I found an industrial strength sharpie in the drawer so I started writing BONER JAM 2014 on everyone's foreheads so they kicked me out
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
