just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
He congratulated me by offering up free orgasms.. I told him I also had a birthday last month we needed to celebrate.. He was there in ten minutes.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
