Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
