i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Somehow ended up home, probably had something to do with the makeshift ladder from my second story window. Now headed to church, still drunk, and still fighting back the vomit of a thousand different alcohols. Successful night.
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Randomize
