is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
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