I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
