is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
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