I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
You broke her grandpas urn and ran your hand through his ashes claiming it was pixie dust. I think thats why shes mad at you..
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Randomize
