I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
just because you dressed up as a brontosaurus doesn't mean you can poop in my yard and roar at my neighbors
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
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