I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
Randomize
