their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
How exactly do I approach the whole "Well that was fun. Am I purchasing the Plan B or you?" topic?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
There is a drunken, assless white chick here at this bar wearing a shirt that says "REAL WOMEN TWERK FOR JESUS". I have officially had it with our generation.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
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