That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I need to stop drinking and eating and start working out. I look like the lovechild of John Goodman and Jabba the Hutt.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I feel horrible. I brought her to your house like a late night pizza delivery and dropped her off.
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
