you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
You're incredible, and I'm drunk
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
Randomize
