Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
please stop judging me for buying a handle of soco on a thursday at 10am. it was on sale, i'm thinking of my future.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I cunt my lip shaving. That's not a typo, it's a placement clue
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
