addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
i felt obligated to tell him happy birthday since we trashed his house and i fucked his friend in his basement
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
