roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
We hooked up in his car and afterwards he cried. I think I need to find a new hookup...
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize
