Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
Abby spilt her vodka all over the train's bathroom floor
WE'RE THE ONES DRESSED UP FOR THE LARGEST DRINKING HOLIDAY IN AMERICA WHO ELSE ON THIS TRAIN IS A SUSPECT FOR THIS SMELL?!
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
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