May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
No...this little piggys going to the bar
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
Randomize
