That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Can I color on your dick again?
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
