she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
She's allergic to latex.
Lucky bastard.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Randomize
