I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
