i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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