Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
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