I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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