A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I wish that one Sunday morning I could wake up feeling like I have my life together.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
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