Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
