he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
