Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Randomize
