Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Randomize
