i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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