I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
