i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
you're expensive. Idk about all this. What happened to free make outs?
Sobriety and mild self-respect
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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