Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
only you would photoshop your dick
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
Watching a bear prancing around in a tiara is worth a loss of bar time.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
