There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Pretty sure he proposed because my house is awesome. His ass is a ten and he's offering to pay more than half the bills... How expensive is a divorce really? I mean I could probably put up with him for three or four years but a lifetime is a big ask.
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