And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
just told my mom that i'm having a bad day and she responded with "maybe you should pour yourself a nice drink". good to know that my parents support my future of alcoholism
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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