and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
This woman at the blackjack table is sitting on a pile of newspaper so she can pee at her seat and never miss a hand.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
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