I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
