It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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