I'm sorry my penis didn't work
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
i accidentally sent all my draft messages..how do i do damage control for the multiple "fuck me now" type msgs sent at ten am?
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Had to clear my browser history. I figured if she used the search bar and her name came up, it might be a little creepy.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
Randomize
