Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
