So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
Seriously. What did you do to me. You have a monstercoooooock.
I can't believe I just typed monstercoooooock. Twice.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
