I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
