3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
