Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
What does it mean when the government shuts down and your boyfriends wife wants a divorce ON YOUR BIRTHDAY?
Randomize
