I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
It's a good thing vaginas don't have taste buds
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
