For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
Randomize
