He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
Rumble strips road head = magical
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
You'll love it there. Trust me. Cheap tequila, pretentious beer, tall white guys who will treat you badly. Its got everything you like.
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