Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
This is my gift to your gina
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
