I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
