Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
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