i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
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