Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Alive...but barely. Had dinner with my parents tonight which was conveniently located near where i left my car, phone, and self respect
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
